Getting Help for a Loved One or Friend

Eating disorders are physically and emotionally destructive. People with eating disorders need to seek professional help immediately. Keep in mind: early diagnosis and intervention significantly enhance recovery. If not identified or treated in their early stages, eating disorders can become chronic, debilitating, and life-threatening.

Seeing someone engage in destructive eating patterns is frightening, frustrating and hard to understand. It is common to experience anger, fear, confusion and guilt. Regardless of how much you want to help, it is important to keep in mind that if the person is an adult, they must make the decision to seek professional help.

People with eating disorders often do not recognize or admit that they are ill. As a result, they may strongly resist getting and staying in treatment. Ongoing emotional support is necessary for the individual, as recovery can be a long process and relapse is common.
Remember: eating disorders are not due to failure of will or behavior; rather, they are real, treatable medical illnesses in which certain maladaptive patterns of eating take on a life of their own.

Before you do anything take some time to think about and plan your best course of action. Get educated and seek support!

The following is an important list of Dos and Don’ts:

DO:
• Learn about eating disorders so you are able to recognize the signs
• Remember that eating disorders are potentially fatal diseases and should be treated accordingly
• Listen to your friend with understanding, respect and sensitivity
• Tell the person you are concerned and that you care and would like to help
• Suggest that the person seek professional help from a physician and/or therapist
• Be available when your friend needs someone
• Discuss feelings rather than food, weight or exercise
• Empower the individual to make their own decisions and be accountable for their decisions

DON’T:
• Don’t take any action alone- Get help!
• Don’t try to solve the problem for them- they need a qualified professional
• Don’t blame them for doing something wrong or tell them they are acting silly
• Don’t gossip about them
• Don’t focus on weight or any particular eating habits
• Don’t comment positively or negatively on appearance or weight
• Don’t force the person to eat or tell them to “just eat”
• Don’t be afraid to upset them; talk with them, just don’t push too hard
• Don’t get involved in a power struggle about eating or other symptoms
• Don’t reject or ignore them, they need you
• Don’t give up! It takes time! Your friend needs you!

It is very important that an individual with an eating disorder receives un-wavering support from those close to them. Remember it’s not your fault nor is it the fault of the individual suffering from such a disease. Do your best to be there and to share your feelings. With time and treatment, those with eating disorders can recover.

For more information on how to help a loved one:
www.edcdenver.com
www.renfrewcenter.com
www.raderprograms.com
www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
www.edcollaborative.com

For information on eating disorder centers and programs in your area see the “Getting Help” page.